Onedia in the Ozarks

Archive for the ‘ADHD’ Category

February 17th, 2011 by Onedia Hayes Sylvest

Some Thoughts For Those Who “Know”

More than I would like, I encounter people who respond to hearing about ADHD, mine or ADHD in general, with “Oh, I do that.”  implying that ADHD in adults is not really a problem because we do not behave like the archetype little boy bouncing off the walls. They also say, “This is nothing important. . .it is not like you have ” some dreadful disease”!. . . .You people are really smart… It is just A behavior disorder….you can deal with it. . .” All of these responses show that this person either does NOT know anything or is denying the realities of  ADHD.   They tell me in one way or another that it is no more than a character flaw or that I need to just get a grip or  to work harder.  It is a non- issue that can be easily altered with a little effort.  It is, after all, nothing fatal and nothing that is really debilitating.

Who, Dear Reader, has any idea of the difficulties of dyslexia for people? I can’t imagine it.

Anyone have any idea of the difficulties for people with visual or auditory processing disorders?  Not me!

Well, ADHD offers distinct challenges  just as either of these learning disabilities.  So those of you who know please,  stop, read, and listen.

I agree, having ADHD is not all bad.  It is a condition that offers many gifts but along with the gits are some huge challenges that we must deal with and if you do not know you have ADHD (for 59 years) some of these challenges can be confusing, perplexing, disturbing, embarrassing, heartbreaking, overwhelming, and sometimes debilitating.  Even with the gifts and especially if we achieve any measure of skill or success you can bet that we work harder, worry more, develop coping skills, never feel like we have achieved as much as we could, and just do not understand why we do some of the things we do and cannot do other things that we so want to do.

What is ADD/ADHD?

Dr. Ned Hallowell explains it for us:

ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurological condition that is usually genetically transmitted. It is characterized by distractibility, impulsivity and restlessness or hyperactivity. In both disorders these symptoms are present from childhood on, and with a much greater intensity than in the everyday person, so that they interfere with everyday functioning.

. . . having ADD is like having a powerful race car for a brain, but with bicycle brakes. Treating ADD is like strengthening your brakes–so you start to win races in your life.

ADD/ADHD in Adults

If you have exhibited at least twelve of the following behaviors since childhood and if these symptoms are not associated with any other medical or psychiatric condition, consider an evaluation by a team of AD/HD professionals:

  1. A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one’s goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished).
  2. Difficulty getting organized.
  3. Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started.
  4. Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow through.
  5. A tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark.
  6. A frequent search for high stimulation.
  7. An intolerance of boredom.
  8. Easy distractibility; trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or conversation, often coupled with an inability to focus at times.
  9. Often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent
  10. Trouble in going through established channels and following “proper” procedure.
  11. Impatient; low tolerance of frustration.
  12. Impulsive, either verbally or in action, as an impulsive spending of money.
  13. Changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans and the like; hot-tempered.
  14. A tendency to worry needlessly, endlessly; a tendency to scan the horizon looking for something to worry about, alternating with attention to or disregard for actual dangers.
  15. A sense of insecurity.
  16. Mood swings, mood lability, especially when disengaged from a person or a project.
  17. Physical or cognitive restlessness.
  18. A tendency toward addictive behavior.
  19. Chronic problems with self-esteem.
  20. Inaccurate self-observation.
  21. Family history of AD/HD or manic depressive illness or depression or substance abuse or other disorders of impulse control or mood

Please, if you do not have a close friend or loved-one or co-worker with ADHD you probably are like I was before my diagnosis.  I thought I knew, but truly till I put the behaviors and challenges in context of my own life and that of my husband.  I did NOT know.  I read.  I listened. I thought about it.  I talked to people who DO KNOW.  I learned.  I am ashamed that I assumed so much when my nephew was diagnosed.  Id understood about 10 per cent.

Please, do not say  and please do not DO one of the following:

  • “Oh but you should look at it as a gift, because you are creative or smart or yada yada.
  • I do understand you may be trying to reassure me. Do you understand that you are minimizing the daily struggles that we each have just to do what is easy for you and often do so while hiding how difficult it really is for us?  Appreciate the gifts, but take time to find out what we are really struggling with.
  • You are just using this as an excuse for doing what you want and/or for being so rude or annoying”
  • No most of us are actually agonizing over what we say or said or did that we wish we had not.  Just try to be more patient, use a little humor and even just be a kind coach to help us through moments you know we may flub.
  • Roll your eyes when one of us is late  or think we are stupid because we forget to do something.
  • Ask us if there we would appreciate a reminder call or text or email.

We don’t need pity. We don’t need judgment.  We don’t need doubt.  We need respect, understanding, and a little slack once in a while.  When we tell you something is hard, unless you have been diagnosed or can respond positively to 12 or more of the items above don’t tell us that you do this or that all the time. That just belittles us and undermines your credibility!

February 9th, 2011 by Onedia Hayes Sylvest

Ideas, Distractions, Writings and Art

Welcome to my website. I lean left, over analyze, decide with logic  over  sentiment, embrace asymmetry, get the heebie jeebies, exercise too   little and know my birth certificate lies. I am frequently  distracted, fidgety, forgetful, or dazed and dismayed.  I am an artist,  dabbler, writer, web designer, and certified gadgophile.  Onedia in Frida 300x200 Ideas, Distractions, Writings and Art I have had as many as five blogs going at a time covering a wide range of subjects. This current re-invention of the remaining two blogs (Fiery Heart  Designs and Onedia in The Ozarks) is necessitated by the need for a more  structured life both in my studio and in daily life.  I work from my  multi-media studio and occasionally from my chair in front of my  favorite news channels.

I   write guided only by my interests, my sense of good manners, my   moral compass, my conscience, and my agility of wit and words. I see my   world as a photograph which I capture when I can.  I believe in  speaking  my mind even when my voice trembles or my finger hesitates on  the enter  key.  I write about topics that matter to me, that tweak my  interest,  raise my hackles, or tickle my funnybone. This may include  the  occasional rant or even a rambling post with no focus.   I started  blogging in 2006 introduced to it by my daughter, a talented freelance  writer and literary translator.  As my interests find new compass points  I either shifted the focus of my blog or started a new one.  I love  writing and I love examining ideas, researching, and throwing my  thoughts out for others to bat around.  I enjoy sharing my artistic  endeavors and the results of my experiments, reading, learning and  practicing as a continuously learning artisan.  Although I refer to  myself as a metal clay artist I am also a jewelry designer and website  designer.  I also dabble in other creative media.

I do not depend upon results of my artistic endeavors for my  livelihood.  I like to sell my creations to fund the next creative  exploration and because it pleases me to know that someone else  appreciates my ideas and creations enough to hand over enough green to  pay for a couple of  fine dinners.  I enjoy knowing that my work is  giving someone as much pleasure as it gave me in making it.  When the  art turns into work I back off.  It loses all charm.  By some standards I  am not an artist perhaps and I resist calling these hobbies or crafts  because I am not a fine craftsman and I have never been able to think of  myself as a hobby person.  No, I am a woman whose brain is constantly  bombarded with ideas. Some ideas must form words and phrases and  eventually paragraphs that I struggle to make pleasant to the ear and  intriguing to the mind.  Other ideas become websites or jewelry or small  scale sculpture.  Some ideas get trampled by all the others competing  for front row attention.  The Buddha tells us that, “An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” My mind and my spirit demand allegiance to this instruction and  ultimately, the ideas that return to me over and over must emerge in  some form of tangible expression.

In October 2010, I exported most of my older posts to  again switch  the focus because in September, 2010, I discovered (was diagnosed) that I  have  Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). This discovery  explains  much about why I frequently feel so dazed, distracted,  dismayed, and  disorganized.  I am discovering what this means for me in  the  present. Learning how to live more successfully with it in the  future  and reflecting how it brought me to this point.  I thought I  needed to write often about my discoveries and the challenges of   learning new ways of doing things.  Since ADHD and especially adult ADHD  1 is  frequently misunderstood as are the people who have ADHD, I felt my  writing openly and candidly would both inform and raise awareness.   I  find however, that there are plenty of people doing that. Besides, along  with the challenges I face because of the ADHD, I am rewarded  with a  creative and curious mind that thrives on learning and loves the  words  available to communicate ideas.   The Buddha tells us “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is     everything. What we think we become.”

This blog then will unflinchingly reflect my interests and reflect the mind of an Absolutely, Definitely, Hopelessly Distracted Artist, Dabbler, Writer, Web Designer, and Gadgophile!

  1. Many adults who go undiagnosed well  into their mature years.

November 28th, 2010 by Onedia Hayes Sylvest

Why Am I Here?

Doing housework can be either a protracted process or a whirlwind of activity depending on the day, time and urgency of the need for the cleaning evolution.  I dislike cleaning chores some more than others.  I would rather clean the toilet than do the dishes and I always ask my husband to do the vacuuming if he is around.  Actually, on any given day it does not occur to me to dust or vacuüm or sweep the porches unless I happen to come in the front door and notice the leaves or whatever on the steps or landing.  I am reminded of dusting when the dust clouds off the night stand when I move a book.  I do notice the bathroom more often compelling me to wipe out the sink before I wash my hands. However, noticing the need for housework does not mean that I will do it that day or even the next or next.  It usually takes an uncomfortable sense of disorder and some sneezing or coughing because of pet hair floating in the air.

If I did a little each day as my sister does and stayed on top of things these housecleaning evolutions would not be needed. I sometimes attempt to operate this way but one lapse leads to another and I am back in my usual routine.  These cleaning operations are sometimes initiated because I have an impulse to do it then.  The whirlwind comes out and I put my head down and go for it. Stay out of my way! 

Most of the time I decide the day before and 1 get started the next day usually by culling the piles of magazines and clearing away the items that clutter the oval table between our chairs.  However, the next task could be initiated when I take something to the bedroom and then start putting away clothes that are in the clothesbasket on the chair. 2 Next I may pick up a glass for the kitchen and a towel to put on the bathroom towel bar.   Some days I manage to complete one room before moving on to the next and other days I will get diverted before completing a room and move on.

For example yesterday I was clearing the table between our chairs when

  1. I noticed the table fountain
  2. remembered the light needed adjusting
  3. sat down to see about the light
  4. needed some tweezers and small tools from the studio
  5. walked through the laundry
  6. stopped to check the dryer
  7. walked through the garage to the studio
  8. turned on the studio light and fan
  9. fed the fish
  10. turned on my computer monitor
    1. checked my mail
    2. checked Google Reader
    3. checked Facebook and wrote some wall posts
  11. left the computer
  12. exited the studio
  13. encountered my husband who asked me to close the garage door for him
  14. headed for the room air filter I wanted in the house
  15. took it on the driveway to clean
  16. carried it to the house shutting the garage on my way
  17. set the air cleaner down in kitchen
  18. started loading the dishwasher
  19. remembered I had gone to the studio for something but not what it was
  20. made some tea for my husband 3
  21. replaced a pillow case on a pillow for my chair
  22. noticed the fountain
  23. remembered that I had gone to the studio for tools

Meanwhile, I had not finished the bedroom or the dishes or the clothes in the dryer or the piles in the living room, but I was hungry and went to make a salad.

  1. possibly
  2. the clothesbasket that has been there several days
  3.  sudden virus attack

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