One of the challenges for people with ADHD is that we tend to have too many things going on. We say “yes” often before we think about it. We agree to do one more thing or take on one more project, particularly when the project is interesting. Often, we are the people who initiate the project. Then we get inundated with all the deadlines and dates and expectations. We procrastinate and switch back and forth between projects and commitments. We fail to come through or take forever to do something we promised. Sometimes we back out or beg off. Yet, that usually does not stop us from digging that hole and jumping in at the earliest opportunity.
I know, everyone gets stretched at times so what is the big deal? Think about the people you know. Is there someone who promises things and then either does not come through at all; requires frequent reminders or queries about status; fails to complete it while getting involved with some new endeavor; or is always late completing tasks or projects? Do you get annoyed with that person because they take much longer to get things done than others?
Over-committing is a constant challenge for me. I always have a list of stuff I need to do, want to do, promised to do, or am doing. Within the last couple of weeks I agreed to do three things that I just do not have time to do and that are not as high on the importance list as almost any of the other projects or tasks already on my list. One I am trying to decide if I will decline after agreeing, and it is a paid project. I often procrastinate on tasks so long that I am totally embarrassed yet the embarrassment fails to initiate activity to complete the task.
I know that some who read this will think, “What a lazy, inconsiderate slacker.” This is a behavioral issue. Just do it! Just exercise some prudence. Tell that to my mouth as it says, “yes” even while my brain is saying, “whoa, hold on there”. Even when I start a task I may very likely get diverted because I get an email which pulls me into a new series of activities and I forget to finish the task I began.
I can also ignore projects by getting totally engrossed in one project that either has an immediate due date or because it is interesting. I can happily work on that task while ignoring five other tasks that are due. You may think by now that I never complete anything. That is not the case. However, I only vaguely understood my tendencies nor did I comprehend the frequency that I set myself up for the frenzied feeling of being overburdened with things needing completion. Until I left the working world for the life of an artist who controlled her own assignments and set her own schedule I could assign blame to the demands of work. I must say that the past three years or so were puzzling in that respect.
Now, I understand that I am following the distractions and demands of a highly distractable brain overflowing with ideas and with poor impulse control. The awareness that these tendencies were not normal has grown over the past couple of years increasing my anxiety and distress. I began studying the mindfulness teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh several months ago. That was the first step for me. Discovering my ADHD was the second step. Now I am in the process of selecting tools and techniques to help me be more selective in the projects and tasks I either accept or assign to myself.
Obviously some of that is learning to say “NO” politely and firmly. However, before saying “no” or “yes” I must take time to consider:
- The impact on my time and energy
- The pros and cons of accepting or declining
- The realistic time frame that I can complete if accepted
- The reality that I am often called away unexpectedly to assist my parents
Bottom line I need to remember to 
and to 
before taking on something new.
Simply controlling how much I put onto my plate is not enough because I still have the distraction and procrastination to deal with. One thing that helps that is something my husband and I began doing this year. We have little coordinating sessions. Initially we did it about once a week usually on Monday but recently we decided to do it more frequently. In these sessions, often held during or after our morning news and coffee , we each share our plans for the day or week and ask for any assistance from the other that may be necessary. We remind each other of appointments and other scheduled items that require one or both of us to be at some place at an appointed time. Now, we have not yet perfected the art of having these sessions daily but we are improving. We find that we are more likely to stay on track and less likely to forget things. Also, just the communication about what our priorities helps us stay synched.
Of course when you must share your ToDo with another person you must first have such a list. My husband likes paper and pencil for sitting and talking but he has a large white erasable board on an easel in his lab/studio where he keeps his master list. I, the lover of gadgets and widgets, found an excellent tool at a low cost. It is uOrganized, an easy but thorough ToDo, taks list, get-things-done, organizer and project manager that lets you use as much or little detail as necessary. You can even put appointments on it, but we use Google Calendar for that because we like sharing our calendars with each other and with our daughter.
I also have two (well really four) other tools that I am using more now. One is electronic and the others are old standards. I have been using a moleskin style notebook for a few years and like the perfect purse I searched for the perfect notebook. Large enough to use and small enough to carry in that perfect purse (that stays organized). Cannot be done in one notebook and one notebook is never where I need it. So, ever the one is good three are great, I have three, a small one on the bedside table, a medium one on my desk and a tiny one for my purse. Since I do some of my best thinking, designing, and writing when I drive to and from my parents’ town I also have a mini recorder that I can use to capture a post, a list, or random ideas or for design ideas.
Throw in max use of cell phone alarms and browser addons for reminders to keep me on track I am inching my way to filtering what I do and staying on track. I welcome any handy ideas that you may have.